6 Life Coaches Walk Into A Bar...And They're All Wearing A Paper Bag Over Their Head

Like a beauty pageant on parade, they stand side by side ready to order a drink.

“Green juice please!” the first one says.

The other 5 look around. “OMG that’s what I was going to order,” they all shout in unison!

Laughter ensues.

“Sorry darlin’ we’re called Extract, but we’re not a juice bar” the bartender replies, confused.

It clearly looks like a bar. He thinks. I mean, sure there’s a photo of a green drink, but it’s an absinthe cocktail.

“I love your flower crown, where’d you get it from?” says the second one. After working out the location of the florist - it’s on the corner of Pastel Colours Avenue and Gold Foil Street - they realise they’ve got their flower crowns from the same florist.

“So, what do you?” the third beauty asks the group.

“I’m a life coach. I love helping women live their best lives!" replied the fourth.

“OMGGGG ME TOOOOOO!!!” the 6 beautiful women say in unison.

They realise they’ve all been through the same coaching certification program.

It’s like they’re twins. 6 twins.

6 beautiful, single life coaches who’re exactly the same, who decided to come out to a bar to have a green coloured drink and maybe meet a guy.

They all sit down in the corner booth.

If we had to create a theme song for this catch up, it'd be called ME TOO and the chorus would be them singing ME TOO over and over and over again.

They’re totally absorbed in their own world, telling each other how beautiful their maxi dress and sandal outfit combos are.

Enter: A guy hotter than Chris Hemsworth.

He beelines for the bar but glances over at the flock of seemingly perfect potential playmates.

Woah, he thinks.

They all dress the same. Sound the same. Wear the same. Act the same. They’re all stunning. Like they stepped out of photoshoot from the beach.

He wants in. With one. Although he’s not sure who yet.

So he buys the cheapest wine and heads over to the flock of females.

They all stop chatting and fall silent.

He is sooooo hot! I want him to PICK ME! You can hear them thinking.

He decides since they’re all the same there's no point trying to get to know them, and he’ll ask the group a quick qualifying question instead:

"Who’s drinking white wine tonight?"

5 girls want to say yes, but they just can't. They haven't touched white wine since the time they got drunk on the stuff at their cousins wedding, before they got their life together and became a life coach.

One girl though, she’s willing to drink the cheap wine. She’ll do whatever it takes to get some 1:1 time with this extremely good looking potential prospect.

“I looooove white wine,” she says.

She gets up and heads over to a private 1:1 table.

She takes a sip. It’s fucking horrible. That cheap white leaves a nasty taste in her mouth.

She persists.

He asks for her number and she gives it to him. She's desperate and hasn't had a date in ages. They organise a date for later in the week.

The vibe from the other 5 changes. Their cheeriness disappears. They’re defeated. Deflated.

They start to nitpick and compare themselves to Sally, the one who got 1:1 time with Almost-Chris-Hemsworth.

She painted her nails white and wore beautiful intentional jewellery. The other 5 didn't.

That’s what it was! they think, as they reach for their phones to find the closest manicure bar to get the right look while loading up jewels into their online shopping cart.

It all sounds freaking ridiculous when I put 6 life coaches into a bar and make up a story about how to land a date with a guy, but this is exactly what you’re doing with your potential clients.

Doing, saying, acting, dressing, presenting yourself the exact same way as everyone else is like wearing a paper bag over your head.

And when you wear a paper bag over your head, a life coach is a life coach is a life coach is a life coach.

Leaving you and your business open to price shoppers.

And operating as the cheapest is never a business model that’ll take you places.

So, how do you remove the proverbial paper bag from your head and stand out?

With a clear niche.

With a defined edge.

With a damn good reason why someone should pick you.