Previously on Email Girl, Ms. Business Owner was under the evil spell of Mr. McDouchey Internet Marketer. Using his powers of mind control, he was stopping Ms. Business Owner from sending out fun, entertaining + engaging emails that sell for fear she would become just as sleazy as the devil himself.
This had dire effects on Ms. Business Owner. She wasn’t getting any new clients which means she wasn’t making any money.
Email Girl: Ms. Business Owner, I hear the evil Mr. McDouchey Internet Marketer is mind controlling you, stopping you from sending out your very fun, entertaining + engaging emails that sell.
Ms. Business Owner: It’s true. I don’t know what to do?!?
Email Girl: I’ve got a plan. Do you trust me?
Ms. Business Owner: I do.
Email Girl: Listen to me very carefully. I want you to go into your inbox. Let me know when you’re in.
Ms. Business Owner: I’m in.
Email Girl: Okay, I want you to locate the email from Mr. McDouchey Internet Marketer.
Ms. Business Owner: Found it.
Email Girl: Open the email.
Ms. Business Owner: What? Are you crazy Email Girl?
Email Girl: You said you trust me. Do you trust me?
Email Girl: I said, do you trust me?
Ms. Business Owner: Yes, I trust you. I’ve opened the email.
Email Girl: Right, now scroll all the way to the end.
Ms. Business Owner: I’m at the end of the email.
Email Girl: At the end of the email you should see an unsubscribe button.
Ms. Business Owner: I don’t see it
Email Girl: It will be almost invisible. In very small font.
Ms. Business Owner: Oh, I see it.
Email Girl: Click it.
Ms. Business Owner: But what if he sends an email that I really need…? what if he’s going to give me the secret formula to success?
Email Girl: CLICK THE UNSUBSCRIBE BUTTON NOW
Ms. Business Owner: I did it. I unsubscribed.
Meanwhile, across town Mr. McDouchey Internet Marketer doesn’t feel so crash hot.
Mr. McDouchey Internet Marketer (to himself): I don’t feel so good. I feel weak. My powers, what’s happening?
Meanwhile, back on the call with Ms. Business Owner + Elizabeth, I mean Email Girl.
Email Girl: Yes! Mr. McDouchey Internet Marketer’s powers are shrinking!
Ms. Business Owner: I can feel it too. It’s like, all that fear was sitting around me like a cloud and it’s lifting. I can see clearly.
Email Girl: He has no more control over you. Are you ready to start sending out your very fun, entertaining + engaging emails that sell?
Ms. Business Owner: Yes! I am. I just don’t know how.
Email Girl: Then come with here. I’ve created something just for you!
Ms. Business Owner lived happily ever after.